Identity — not willpower, not motivation, not the perfect plan. When you change the story you tell yourself about who you are, your habits, consistency, and results follow. A man who lost over 200 pounds and now leg presses 540 proves it — and the lesson applies directly to your pipeline, your prospecting, and the all-or-nothing cycle that keeps taking you out.
You’ve heard it a thousand times: just be more disciplined. Just stay consistent. Just follow the plan.
And you’ve probably tried all of it. You’ve had the motivated Monday. The killer first week. The ambitious new system that was going to change everything.
Then life happened. You missed a day. Then two. And by Wednesday you were telling yourself you’d start fresh next week.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone — and the problem isn’t your work ethic. The problem is something deeper. It’s the story you keep telling yourself about who you are.
In this episode of Take It and Run, Kelcie and I sat down with Merrill Jencks, who lost over 200 pounds and went from barely moving to leg pressing 540 pounds. But here’s the thing: the weight loss isn’t the real story. The real story is about identity. And everything Merrill learned about transforming his health maps directly onto building a real estate business that doesn’t collapse every quarter.
The fat kid identity — and the one you’re carrying too
Merrill was the biggest kid in school from the time he was in fifth grade. He weighed 200 pounds as a 10-year-old. And from that point forward, his identity was locked in: I’m the fat kid.
The wild part? He was successful at literally everything else. Work, school, relationships — he crushed it. But when it came to his weight, he couldn’t crack it. He tried every diet under the sun. Nothing stuck.
Why? Because the identity was running the show. When you believe at your core that you’re “the fat kid,” every behavior aligns with that belief. The diet fails because the person on the diet still sees themselves as someone who will always struggle with weight. Watch Merrill talk about this at 0:52.
Now think about the agents I work with every day. How many of them carry an identity that sounds like this:
- “I’m just not a natural salesperson.”
- “I’m not good at follow-up.”
- “I always lose momentum after a good month.”
- “I’m not a prospecting person.”
That’s the same trap. You’re not failing because you lack discipline — you’re disciplined in every other area of your life. You’re failing because the story you tell yourself about this one thing is running the show.
The fix isn’t a new script. It’s not a better CRM. It’s not a new lead source. It’s a new identity.
Surgery didn’t fix it — and neither will your next shiny object
Merrill had gastric bypass surgery in August 2022. It was a tool — a big one. But it wasn’t the answer.
After the surgery, there’s a honeymoon phase. The weight drops fast. Then it plateaus. And that’s where most people fail, because the tool stops doing the work for you. Merrill plateaued at 290 pounds. He’d lost a lot — but he still had a long way to go.
That’s when the real shift happened. He stopped trying to “lose weight” and started becoming someone who does healthy things because that’s who they are.
Not “I’m trying to eat better.” Instead: “I’m a person who fuels my body well.”
Not “I’m trying to go to the gym.” Instead: “I’m someone who trains four days a week.”
The behaviors followed the identity — not the other way around. Hear Merrill describe this shift at 4:10.
In real estate, we see the same pattern constantly. An agent signs up for a new coaching program or invests in a new tech platform, and for a few weeks, everything’s firing. Then the novelty wears off, and they’re back to the same habits. Because the tool changed — but the person didn’t.
If you still see yourself as “someone who struggles with prospecting,” no CRM on the planet will save you. But if you become someone who makes 10 contacts a day because that’s just what you do? Now you’re building something that lasts.
If you’re ready to stop spinning your wheels and start building a business that actually moves, Tom Ferry Coaching is worth a serious look. Kristi works with agents nationwide inside the Tom Ferry ecosystem — head to kristijencks.com to learn more and get connected.
Stop slashing all four tires
One of the most powerful things Merrill said in this conversation was about the all-or-nothing mentality — and how it almost destroyed his progress.
Here’s how it used to work for him: eat one bad meal, and the whole day was shot. Bad day? Whole week’s gone. Might as well start over Monday.
Sound familiar? Because that’s exactly what happens when an agent misses a day of prospecting. One missed day becomes a missed week. A missed week becomes “I’ll reset next month.” And then you’re starting from zero. Again.
Merrill’s breakthrough was simple but game-changing: don’t slash all four tires because you got one flat. Fix the flat. Keep driving.
Bad meal? The next one is a good one. Missed the gym? Go tomorrow. Had a terrible prospecting day? Pick up the phone again in the morning.
The agents who build real businesses aren’t the ones who never fail. They’re the ones who recommit fast. They don’t let a bad day turn into a bad quarter. Watch this part of the conversation at 6:30.
This is something I see constantly with the agents I coach. The ones who grow year over year aren’t perfect — they just recover faster than everyone else. And that ability to recover? It comes from identity. When you see yourself as someone who does the work, a bad day is just a blip. When you see yourself as someone who always falls off, a bad day confirms the story.
Track everything — even if you change nothing else
Merrill tracks everything. His food in MyFitnessPal. His workouts. His steps. His sleep. He’s analytical by nature, so he enjoys it. But here’s the insight that matters for everyone — even if you hate spreadsheets:
The simple act of tracking changes your behavior without you consciously trying to change it.
His challenge to everyone: don’t change what you’re eating. Eat exactly the way you’ve always eaten. Just log it. That one change — just the awareness — starts shifting things naturally.
We tell agents the same thing about their numbers. You don’t have to overhaul your entire prospecting strategy on day one. Just start tracking your contacts, your conversations, your appointments. When you see the numbers staring back at you, the behavior starts to shift on its own. It’s one of the simplest, most powerful things you can do — and most agents won’t do it because it feels too boring. But boring is the goal. Your database isn’t just a list — it’s an ecosystem that responds to attention and consistency.
Merrill’s four non-negotiables for tracking progress:
- Log your food — every meal, even the bad ones. Awareness is the game.
- Track your workouts — sets, reps, weight. Progressive overload only works if you know where you started.
- Monitor your steps — daily movement matters more than the occasional intense session.
- Watch your sleep — recovery is where the growth actually happens.
For agents, the translation is straightforward: log your contacts, track your conversations, monitor your appointments, and review your conversion rates. Not once a quarter — every day. That’s the data that tells you whether your business is growing or just busy.
Progressive overload: the gym principle that builds empires
When Merrill started lifting, he could barely leg press 135 pounds. Now he’s at 540. That didn’t happen in a week. It happened through months of adding 5 pounds here, 10 pounds there. Small, consistent increases that compounded into something massive.
That’s progressive overload — and it’s the most underrated business strategy I know.
It’s not about making 100 contacts in a single day. It’s about making 10 contacts every single day for a year. It’s not about having one monster month and then crashing. It’s about having 12 good-enough months in a row.
Merrill works out four days a week, 45 minutes a session. He’s not training like an Olympic athlete. But he’s consistent, he’s progressing, and the results speak for themselves. Hear him explain progressive overload at 9:30.
In your business, progressive overload looks like this:
- Week 1: Make 5 contacts a day. That’s it.
- Month 2: Bump it to 7.
- Month 4: You’re at 10, and it feels normal.
- Month 8: You’re at 15, and your pipeline is full.
You didn’t have to be heroic. You just had to show up and add a little more weight to the bar.
The 80/20 rule that replaces perfection
Merrill doesn’t try to be perfect. He tries to be good 80% of the time. If he eats well for 80% of his meals, he’s winning. If he hits the gym for 80% of his planned sessions, he’s winning.
Perfection is what feeds the all-or-nothing mentality. When perfect is the standard, every slip feels like a failure. But when consistent-and-good-enough is the standard? Slips are just part of the process.
Stop waiting for the perfect script. Stop waiting for the perfect market. Stop waiting for the perfect morning routine that will finally make you a prospecting machine. Start doing the work at 80%, every week, for a year. And watch what happens.
That’s the Take It and Run philosophy in a nutshell — done is better than perfect, and consistency beats creativity every single time.
Your move
Here’s what I want you to do this week — and I mean actually do it, not just nod along:
- Identify one story you’ve been telling yourself that isn’t true. “I’m not a phone person.” “I can’t stay consistent.” “I’m bad at follow-up.” Name it. Write it down. Then write the replacement: “I’m someone who makes contacts every day.”
- Pick one habit and start tracking it. Don’t change it yet. Just track it. Your contacts, your calories, your steps — whatever. Boring is the goal.
- Stop slashing all four tires. The next time you have a bad day, recommit the very next morning. Not next Monday. Tomorrow.
- Find your accountability partner. Someone who knows your goals and will call you on it when you slip. Motivation fades. Accountability doesn’t.
Merrill didn’t transform his body with a magic pill. He transformed his identity — and the body followed. Your business works the same way.
If you’re ready to build the kind of consistency that actually compounds, that’s exactly what we work on inside coaching. Head to kristijencks.com to learn more about working together — whether it’s one-on-one coaching, group training, or bringing this kind of energy to your team.
About Kristi Jencks
Kristi Jencks is a real estate coach, speaker, and trainer who helps agents, team leaders, and brokers stop overthinking and start taking action — with practical strategies that are easy to implement and built for the real world. As a Senior Coach in the Tom Ferry ecosystem and host of the Take It and Run podcast, she specializes in turning everyday agents into consistent, confident closers through systems that actually work. Kristi is based in Gilbert, Arizona, where she’s also an active agent in the East Valley market.
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